At dinner on Saturday night a close friend who is a lesbian turned to me and said "I don't think I want to be Catholic anymore." The inflection in her voice relayed some hesitation in her statement to me. I responded by saying...."it's ok there are quite a few people at this table who share the same sentiment." After some thought......I realized that I too...for the first time in my life am feeling significantly challenged by the actions of my local Diocese and the Greater Church (i.e. the Magisterium).

For my entrie adult life I have prided myself in choosing to worship in Catholic communities that celebrate women....use gender sensitive God language......encourage tolerance and understanding.....challenge authority....preach social justice...and welcome gay people such as myself. The Church is opressive towards women and gays and lesbians, but have always thought that we couldn't change it by leaving. I felt that change was only possible from within. That open minded Catholic activists such as myself could change the conservative teaching of the Church. Look at the facts....Jesus was a poor carpenter who challenged authority....taught goodness.....and preached freedom for the opressed. He started a revolution....and was killed for his beliefs. Look at some of the progressive movements that have come out of the Catholic Church. Liberation Theology and the Catholic Worker movement are two great examples. Catholicism teaches justice.

However...with recent events in the Church I have struggled more and more with my identity...and with my place in the Church. The horrible sex abuse scandal that was unearthed in the past two years........efforts by the Archbishop O'Malley and the Archdiocese of Boston to keep "marriage" between one man and one woman...deliberately trying to deny GLBT people of their rights. I cannot help but feel that their attempts at getting involved in gay politics is aimed at diverting people's attention away from the sex abuse scandal. I am angry. I am angry that the Catholic Church.....the "Universal" Church (Catholic means universal).......is not being inclusive.......so much for universal. Jesus preached love...and freedom....not hatred and separatism.

For years I have been interested in some of the more famous people who have dissented against the Catholic Church. People like Martin Luther and Charles Curran. I have always felt that they did a great job at challenging the Church and it's members....and have admired them tremendously. Martin Luther left the Church and formed his own religion. Charles Curran was eventually told that he could no longer teach Catholic theology. Why is it that the Catholic Church chooses to alienate some of their best members?

I am still struggling.