Catholic Identity and Experience

Speaking of Faith had a great story this week on contemporary Catholic identity and experience. I love Speaking of Faith and was happy to know they were doing a story on something that is so dear to me. One of the program participants was Rachel Pokora, President of the Nebraska chapter of Call to Action (CTA). I was excited to hear Rachel's story because in many ways it was like my voice being heard through the radio. I too am a progressive Catholic who believes there needs to be reform in the Church. I am a pro-choice lesbian Catholic who is in support of the ordination of women and married men in the Church. I was raised in a culturally Catholic family and went to Catholic schools for 14 years, majored in religion as an undergrad at the Catholic University of America in Washington, DC and wanted very much to live life as a lay-person in ministry. As an adult I decided to not pursue this because I knew I would never be protected because of my sexual orientation and didn't want to hide anything about myself. I currently worship in a super cool progressive community in Boston (Paulist Center), am a member of a Call to Action NextGen faith sharing group, and believe in a commitment to work towards social justice in the world. After thinking more about Rachel's story I began to feel very sad. Rachel spoke about being excommunicated and about living in fear that she would be denied the Eucharist because of her involvement with CTA. Rachel also talked about about how being excommunicated meant that she was not able to receive a Christian burial or get married in a Catholic Church. This angers me because I feel that she is living a Christian life, working for change in her Church, and truly living life in the spirit of Vatican II. I am a believer in the idea that the Church is the people and not necessarily only that of the hierarchy of the Church. Who is the Church to deny her the right to the Eucharist or a Christian burial or marriage? Another person who participated in the radio show named Olibhear talked about sharing the Eucharist with friends around a table and experiencing faith in that way. I too have had wonderful experiences of Church in that way and believe that to be a wonderful gift. He also spoke about the Church using exclusion to push those with differences away and to shut down any conversations. The final person to speak on the broadcast was Bonnie Amesquita. I have listened to this show twice and both times her words brought a tear to my eye. I was again saddened and angered because in many way it appears that she feels pushed away because of her differences of thought. This reminded me of a discussion I had with my guidance counselor when I was 14. I remember telling her that there wasn't a place for me in the Church because of my politics and ideas. She told me that the Catholic Church was a diverse community of people and that if I kept looking that I too would find my place. I finally did feel that I had found my place with my involvement in retreat planning in my later high school years, with Campus Ministry in College, and at the Paulist Center in Boston. However......I have to wonder....as Rachel Pokora does....how long will I continue to be involved in a community that openly rejects me, my lifestyle, and what I believe in. The sad part of all of this is that underneath all of this...we all believe the same thing. In justice.....and community....and following the teachings of Jesus Christ.