I have been busy this week. Went to a Walk for Research Planning Committee meeting..........spent 37.25 hours at work.........went to see the hepatologist (going in for a needle biopsy on April 2nd.....yikes)......lost 40 cents at poker (I haven't achieved the ah ha moment...but I'm getting closer)......and visited with the podiatrist (he adjusted my inserts, suggested I see my physical therapist twice a week for two weeks, and gave me a scrip for an anti-inflammatory medication). Have a busy weekend planned. Mom is having surgery on Monday. We expect she will be there for five working days...could be more..could be less.

My friend Stephanie sent me an email yesterday informing me that a friend of hers was participating in a date auction this Saturday, February 21. All money from the 4th Annual Mardi Gras Date Auction will go to the American Liver Foundation's Run for Research. Yee haw...I love the liver........it's good to support it. You only have one....and it's the biggest internal organ you have....and it does a super job at cleaning out the toxins and sending the nutrients to the correct places in your body.

I went to my Mom's after work yesterday. She had made some chocolate chow mein cookies and wanted to share them...yummy. She has been having pain in her calf. They say it could be a superficial bloodclot....whatever that means...or cellulitis...not sure what that is either. She is taking ibuprofen for pain.

Something funny happened to us on Valentine's Day in the North End. We were walking down Hanover Street and this man selling roses says...."roses for sale." We kept walking until we heard him say...."I have lavender roses." We both thought this was very funny. Did he know we were lesbians? Do we stand out that much? We weren't holding hands. This whole experience made us laugh. We kept walking. About a half hour later we were drinking cappucino and eating canollis in a cafe and the man with the roses walked in. He walks right over to us...smiles and says......"I have lavender." Then he proceeded to tell my partner that she needed to "find someone else" because I would not buy her roses. We thought this was a howl. Finally I gave into pressure and said I would buy the roses. When I asked for the lavender ones he told me that he had lied...and that he did not have lavender flowers in his bunch. I harrassed him about not telling the truth. He told me that the lavender roses were too expensive...he would never make a profit. I ended up buying two roses.......one pink...one orange. He lied.....but at least he was good natured about it.....at least he was trying to be inclusive. It was all very funny.

This weekend was fun...and busy...and restful all at the same time. I like those kinds of weekends.

Friday I had dinner with my friends Heather and Matt from Northeastern University. We had dinner at Fajitas and Rita's and had a great time. It was really nice to see them. Heather lives in Pennsylvania...and I never get to see Matt.......it was fun catching up. After dinner I went to see Lost in Translation. My friends Trish and Ronda said that they did not like the movie. However the person I went to see it with and I really enjoyed it. You might want to check it out.

Saturday was Valentine's Day.....ahhh...sigh. We went out for brunch at
Johnny D's and then spent some time at the Haymarket and in the North End. That night we made dinner and tried to go see Casablanca at the Brattle, but it was sold out.

Sunday I did housework and fixed our computer. That night we went to a surprise party for Theresa. Happy 31st Birthday Theresa...aka Teddy.

Yesterday I went to see My Architect at the Coolidge Corner Theatre. I enjoyed the movie and loved being able to go to a movie during the week. I really appreciate Monday holidays. After the movie I went home..and hung out. Eventually I made my way to the Diesel Cafe and wrote in my journal. Last night we met up with some friends at the Burren to eat...and talk about our most recent book group book. We read Trans-Sister Radio. I recommend the book if you are looking for a good book to read. I enjoyed it.

I just realized that I told you almost every moment of my weekend. My friend Cynthia often tells me that I have a tendency to list out my days activities. SO there you go.

It looks like no decision on gay marriage was reached yesterday. I should be thankful that my rights haven't been taken away yet. I started to feel guilty as I read the reports of last nights activities in the Boston Globe. I should have stopped by the State House at some point over that past few days. I had called my Senator...written letters to both my Senator and Representative, and sent email to Mitt Romney, Robert Travaglini, and my Senator and Representative, but I was feeling that maybe that wasn't enough. The constitutional convention plans to meet again on March 11th. I plan on visiting the State House then.

My Senator and Representative both voted No on the anti-gay Finneran amendment. That gives me a ray of hope. Yet.....I don't understand people. I don't get it....who in their right mind wants to write discrimintation INTO the constitution? That's it...they must have lost their minds. I got a nice letter from Representative Patricia Jehlen saying that she will vote against amending the constitution. She says.... "I don't think that civil rights should be subject to referendum." You go girl!

I went over to my Mom's to spend some time with her yesterday. She hasn't been feeling well lately. She has nausea...and a metal taste in her mouth...and exhaustion....and other side effects of the chemo. Fortunately she is done with the chemo. Unfortuantely she will have to deal with the side effects for a bit.

The only word on the gay marriage issue is that they are debating on it as I type this...and will be for a while. From the reports it looks like the State House is a pretty tense place right now. Argh! I'm not hopeful...I wish I were.

I almost forgot...here are the names of the committee members:

Senator Richard Moore (co-chair), (617) 722-1420
Senator Jarrett Barrios, (617) 722-1650
Senator Harriette Chandler, (617) 722-1544
Senator Susan Fargo, (617) 722-1572
Senator Bruce Tarr, (617) 722-1600
Senator Susan Tucker, (617) 722-1612

Representative members of the Committee are
Representative Peter Koutoujian (co-chair), 617-722-2130
Representative Christine Canavan, 617-722-2320
Representative Robert Coughlin, 617-722-2130
Representative William Galvin, 617-722-2220
Representative Colleen Garry, 617-722-2582
Representative Susan Gifford, 617-722-2090
Representative Thomas Golden, (617) 722-2575
Representative Shirley Gomes, 617-722-2803
Representative Patricia Haddad, 617-722-2692
Representative Rachel Kaprielian, 617-722-2430

The following email came to me from the New England Chapter of the American Liver Foundation. I urge you to contact your legislators.

As a New England Chapter volunteer, we are asking you to support very important legislation that will be voted on in the next few days by the state's Joint Committee on Healthcare. The legislation promotes access to sterile syringes to decrease the incidence of hepatitis and HIV in Massachusetts.

Led by the AIDS Action Committee, the Massachusetts Campaign for
Responsible Syringe Policy, a coalition of over 50 organizations of which the ALF is a member, presented powerful testimony at a January 28th hearing urging the passage of several bills that would expand access to clean needles in Massachusetts. These bills are important because needle use is the most significant factor in contracting hepatitis C, and Massachusetts is one of only four states in the nation that require prescriptions to purchase syringes.If you agree with the position, you can help to influence the vote by contacting members of the Joint Committee on Healthcare now before the vote takes place. We are asking you to call the committee representative in the district you live in and follow the simple steps below to express your views. It will literally take TWO minutes to make the call. If you don't live in a committee member's district, please call the offices of the Joint Committee
on HealthCare Co-chairs, Senator Richard Moore and Representative Peter Koutoujian, with the same message.

FIVE SIMPLE STEPS

1. Identify yourself as a volunteer of the ALF calling to express your support of sterile syringe access programs. Ask the person answering the phone if he/she is the appropriate person to speak to. You may be transferred to a healthcare aide.

2. When you have the appropriate person on the phone, you should say: "I'm (your name), a constituent of (senator/representatives name) and a member of the American Liver Foundation. I'm calling to ask that he/she support sterile syringe access. The ALF supports and encourages needle exchange programs to decrease the transmission of hepatitis and other blood borne diseases. I feel it's important for (your senator/representatives) to vote affirmatively on these issues." (You can stop there, or share your
opinion further. If you have a personal story about liver disease, feel free to include that information. We have also included a fact sheet on sterile syringe access--you can feel free to share any of that information if you'd like.)

3. Ask if the person knows the senator/representative's view on
sterile syringe access.

4. Thank them for listening and for their support (if applicable).

5. E-mail Allison Toretto at atoretto@liverfoundation-ne.org to let her know which office you called.

Our goal is to demonstrate widespread support for the bills by raising the total number of affirmative calls logged to as many committee members as possible. We will keep you updated on the outcome of the vote.

If you have any questions at all, please don't hesitate to call me or Allison Toretto in our office. Thanks so much for supporting this important initiative!

Wendy Lennon
Chapter Director
American Liver Foundation
www.liverfoundation-ne.org

I am happy to report that I am number 500 on the Boston Online Weblogs Directory. Check it out......

At dinner on Saturday night a close friend who is a lesbian turned to me and said "I don't think I want to be Catholic anymore." The inflection in her voice relayed some hesitation in her statement to me. I responded by saying...."it's ok there are quite a few people at this table who share the same sentiment." After some thought......I realized that I too...for the first time in my life am feeling significantly challenged by the actions of my local Diocese and the Greater Church (i.e. the Magisterium).

For my entrie adult life I have prided myself in choosing to worship in Catholic communities that celebrate women....use gender sensitive God language......encourage tolerance and understanding.....challenge authority....preach social justice...and welcome gay people such as myself. The Church is opressive towards women and gays and lesbians, but have always thought that we couldn't change it by leaving. I felt that change was only possible from within. That open minded Catholic activists such as myself could change the conservative teaching of the Church. Look at the facts....Jesus was a poor carpenter who challenged authority....taught goodness.....and preached freedom for the opressed. He started a revolution....and was killed for his beliefs. Look at some of the progressive movements that have come out of the Catholic Church. Liberation Theology and the Catholic Worker movement are two great examples. Catholicism teaches justice.

However...with recent events in the Church I have struggled more and more with my identity...and with my place in the Church. The horrible sex abuse scandal that was unearthed in the past two years........efforts by the Archbishop O'Malley and the Archdiocese of Boston to keep "marriage" between one man and one woman...deliberately trying to deny GLBT people of their rights. I cannot help but feel that their attempts at getting involved in gay politics is aimed at diverting people's attention away from the sex abuse scandal. I am angry. I am angry that the Catholic Church.....the "Universal" Church (Catholic means universal).......is not being inclusive.......so much for universal. Jesus preached love...and freedom....not hatred and separatism.

For years I have been interested in some of the more famous people who have dissented against the Catholic Church. People like Martin Luther and Charles Curran. I have always felt that they did a great job at challenging the Church and it's members....and have admired them tremendously. Martin Luther left the Church and formed his own religion. Charles Curran was eventually told that he could no longer teach Catholic theology. Why is it that the Catholic Church chooses to alienate some of their best members?

I am still struggling.

The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court's (SJC) recent ruling on same sex marriage has caused quite a stir. This decision is truly remarkable and I am proud to be from the first state to declare this. Unfortunately this landmark decision is under attack. This Wednesday (February 11, 2004) the Massachusetts Legislators will vote on a constitutional amendment that is meant to undo this decision. This amendment would declare that "marriage" is between one man and one woman. This angers me because it is a clear violation of my civil rights. Who says that marriage is between one man and one woman? Who is to say that my union to another woman should not have the same value as heterosexual couples? We need to make sure our voices are heard. Contact your local legislators and let them know how you feel. Learn more about the SJC decision at MassEquality.

I went to Mass at the Paulist Center today. When I walked into this Catholic community today I ran into an older community member I know named Cathy. She got on my case about not telling her about the proposed anti-gay amendment. She told me that I needed to go downstairs.....speak to some of the gay/lesbian community members...get my Legislators name's....and call them. I let her know that I had already contacted my Representative and Senator. I was happy to know that I had a supporter in the community. Fortunately the Paulist Center has proven to be an advocate for the gay community. They walk in the Pride parade every year....they have a GLBT group.........they recently wrote and open letter saying that they supported the GLBT community members...... and 5% of the community gift today went to support outreach efforts to GLBT catholics. The message in todays homily was this......our baptism entitles us to certain rights....and one of those rights is to come to the table and to be heard. We all have a voice.

Today is my mother's last chemo appointment. I went to see her last night and she was smiling...and happy...and eager to be done with the treatments. Russ is taking her to her appointment. She made fudge and cookies for the staff...to thank them for everything. This day felt so far away when I first started writing this blog last spring. When Mom first started chemo she learned that they have a tradition in her chemo clinic where the staff gather around...and the cancer survivor reads a poem and rings a bell after their last chemo treatment. She will do this today....I am very proud of her.

When I was discharged from the hospital ten and a half years ago I sent the staff a box of water guns and hershey kisses. I wanted them to know how thankful I was for them...they had kept me alive. Even when I was tired and didn't want to fight....they did it for me.

I ran into my orthopedic doctor's nurse today on the T. We chatted briefly.

I also went to see the my podiatrist this morning. I reported that things were a little bit better...but not much. My ankle's were still way too tight....my arch and heel were bugging me. He gave me a shot of cortisone and asked that my physical therapist send him a report. I decided today that I think my podiatrist is a bitt too brusque for me. AND...that maybe his bed side manner could be worked on a little. At some point he said that I never mentioned anything about plantar fasciitis before. I know that I told him that I thought that I might have it...because I had had it before..etc., etc. He even asked me....why I had stopped wearing inserts in my shoes...when I told him. He also went on about how my physical therapist was telling me to do the wrong thing...before he heard me out. In the end he told me to modify one of the five exercises I had been doing. Oh...and at another time he said something to me like..."I don't know if you are doing the exercises incorrectly....or if you aren't doing them enough." I was annoyed. Talk about blaming the victim. I do all of my exercises...two times a day....like I am supposed to. ARGH! So...at this point...I have this injection in my foot..........I am supposed to continue the exercises........see him in three weeks....and check in with Jen to ask her to send a report to the podiatrist. I just want to walk pain free! Why is this so difficult?